beat that clock

(photo taken from Molly Bloom's Stratford Website)

I have woken to find that it is Thursday yet again.  What should I have for dinner on this dreary Thursday?  There is a simple and delicious answer to this question that you may not be aware of; In my own life this is a newly found treat.

Every Thursday Molly Blooms Irish Pub offers its guests an opportunity to "beat the clock".  But what does that mean?  Well, basically it works like this: starting at 5:00pm you can purchase an 8oz striploin and potatoes for $5.00.  As the clock ticks by, you may place your order at 6:15pm - how much is your steak then? - it's $6.15.  Whatever the time on the clock is the price of your steak.

But man can not live on steak and potatoes alone!  

That's okay, go ahead and add sauteed mushrooms and onions to your steak (generous portions for about $1.00 each).  Can you make it a loaded baked potato? Of course.  Feeling like you haven't had your veggies today?  Add a side of mixed vegetables for $1.29.  A little known secret suggested by a staff member - get a side of aioli for your fries for only $0.49

You are required to purchase a beverage with the deal but they've made the choice easy - besides practically giving away their hand cut steaks - Thursday also means $3 domestic bottles.  Bring on the 50.

The staff at Molly's are always friendly and capable and the food has never failed to impress me far beyond average pub-grub.  I would challenge you to feed your family a steak dinner at home that is this good, for this price, with good service and someone else does the dishes!

Note: steaks can sometimes be a little over their intended temperature, order your preferred colour one step down from normal (ie. if you like Medium try Medium Rare).

Robin's hotdog fail

I demand the return of Mr. Dog.  His awesome cart with the fold up top and a wide variety of condiments available to enhance your street meat experience!  These are the visions in my dreams.

But I must awake and face the reality that our new hotdog man and his shoddy condiment-less world are all we have for street food (besides delicious vinegar soaked Ken's Fries of course) - this sub-par hotdog experience is taking up incredibly valuable real estate, and even more valuable: the only available street vendor permit available at the moment in our fair city (why exactly there is only one available, I am not sure!)

Street food is something that has come to the forefront of the food world of late.  Our own Shawn Hartwell of Simple Fish & Chips has made a recent appearance at the Food Truck Eats revolution in Toronto.  There is another event scheduled August 20th for those of us who missed the first round.  Food trucks are popping up in unexpected places.  Offering reasonably priced food that is full flavoured and delish!  Just turn on your boob tube and find Eat St. on the Food Network for guaranteed salivation (and download the app for road-trip satisfaction!).


Stratford has a rather unfortunate foray into the world of street food.  The new Robin's Dogs is a disappointment.  His buns rest on the ground, a card table set up for your basic ketchup, mustard and relish.  Where is the wide variety of interesting mustards, the sauerkraut, pickles, hot peppers... 


There are better dogs at Molly Blooms: Nathan's Famous Hotdogs that are far superior to the ones available street side.  The buns are pretzel-like, perfectly chewy and you can top your dog with an array of condiments including spicy deep-fried jalapenos!


Why is our city - a culinary destination - so far behind the times?  Give me street meat with interesting condiments, or give me death.

about a burger

The Gazette recently put out a list of bests in the city and Downie St. Burgers won for 'best burger'.  Now, not that I am debating their win, but, I have to ask...who votes on this stuff?  The Chew certainly didn't and neither did my Peter Parkeresque alter ego.

So I have sacrificed money and colon to embark on a red-meat endeavour, the likes of which this city has never seen!

The results, I must say, have been interesting.  I thought for sure I would find a burger leader, someone way out in front with a patty so flavourful and delicious, a bun so soft and luscious, and toppings that I could literally 'write home to mom about!'.  But I ran into a complex issue, a question if you will, that must first be answered before crowning the king of burgers.

What makes the perfect burger?

This question begs many more:

Am I on a quest for 'the classic' burger topped with merely ketchup/mustard/relish/lettuce/tomato/onion/pickle?
Is the addition of added bacon and cheese cheating?
Does the burger have to be beef?
Do the fries count for added points or deductions?
Does the bun/patty have to be made in-house? (even if there's a great pre-fab burger out there?)
Are gourmet toppings allowed? Guacamole? Caremelised onions? Arugula? Olive tapenade?

I feel bombarded by the questions and there are so few answers, so here I will seek to inform you about great burgers in Stratford and ultimately crown a winner!  Please forgive me if my criteria is not the same as yours...

First: the suck!  These are the burgers that are not worth eating, don't bother wasting time or money - have something else on the menu or in some cases, avoid the restaurant altogether.

*Big D's: though they claim elements of the burger are made in-house I deny this possibility.  Patty is decent but bland and the bun certainly seems from frozen as it is more than a little soggy.

*Backstage: wanted to give the new place a go, but the menu resembles frighteningly the old Othello's menu.  I fear burger has been in the freezer since then, though it doesn't taste quite that bad.

*Pour House: lots of options for different kinds of burgers but the kitchen staff don't seem to care much about their product!  Only thing memorable were the shrivelled 'pickles' (if you can call them that) that were placed on top - never should have made it to the table!

*Foster's: Don't be alarmed, Foster's re-occurs in the good burgers too but I must say their pork burger is just blah and dry, not worth having when they have far better options.

The runners up: shall we say they have been discredited not because they are bad burgers, instead due to their small size/price/general averageness.

**Down The Street (a set of buns worth squeezing, even if you're not the bun squeezing type)

**Molly's Veggie Burger (if you miss meat, you can imagine this is still beef)

**Boomers (the toppings are imaginative and delicious but it's just not big enough!  Add poutine!)

**Erie Drive-In (definitely from frozen, but juicy/quick/cheap nonetheless)

**Bentley's (very average burger, nothing wrong but doesn't wow me)

**Boar's Head (love the wild boar burger but it's always a little dry)

Finally, the burger options that make you tingle and bring you back time and again to shove them gloriously into your mouths!  Divided somewhat into categories but in no particular order...

Classic - kind of: (all beef patty with addition toppings accepted)

*** Molly Blooms: $14.99  They would have won over all for the best burger if only they made their own.  Their Bloomin' Burger is perfectly messy and topped with all the classic toppings, plus mushrooms, BBQ sauce, peameal bacon, regular bacon, two kinds of cheese and onion rings.  Crave burger? 1/2 Price on Monday's!

*** Downie Street Burgers: $8.95-12.95 Certainly delicious all around and so many choices for toppings etc. Potentially their fries lost it for them as they are okay but not fantastic; and I am somewhat concerned for people with peanut allergies (they use peanut oil for frying - tasty, but oh so dangerous!).

Vegetarian!

***Foster's Inn: $10.99  As stated by two long time vegetarians..."This is the best damn veggie burger we have ever had!!!  By a LOOOOONG way!"  I can't stress how original and delicious this red bean/mushroom patty is topped with chutney and goat's cheese!  If it was beef, it would have won!

NO-beef Patty: (not allowed to win though it was close!)

***Foster's Inn: $15.98  Lamb Burger - go ahead and add the tapenade and Indian spice, you won't be disappointed.  Moist and succulent with a combination of flavours that surprises your taste-buds!

The King/#1/Big Kahuna

**** The Parlour $16.00:  Not only is the burger itself fantastic and exactly what you want in a classic burger, but the fries are some of the best I've had in a long time (unfortunately hit and miss though as the second sample were just okay)!  Everything is made in-house/locally sourced and it shows: the patty has delicious flavour, the bun is soft and fresh, bacon is local, cheddar is aged and it's one of the only places in town that you can get a little pink in your burger ;)  For a great burger experience, it's not rocket surgery!


Disclaimer: all of the burgers presented here were eaten by the Chew within a reasonable amount of time, if your favourite was forgotten, let me know and I will re-visit!

oh Walter!

In 1969, at what is now the Westin Hotel in Calgary, Alberta, an ingenious restaurant manager named Walter Chell created a drink in honour of the opening of a new Italian restaurant.  The story varies slightly: was tomato/clam the soup of the day? or did Walter draw from his Italian background creating his own 'clam-ato' in the style of spaghetti alle vongole?  Either way the result of his efforts could arguably be called Canada's Official Cocktail!

So how does our little town do when it comes to the Caesar?

I've investigated and I have to say, though every bar in town does serve a Caesar, I'm more than a little disappointed at the distinct lack of ingenuity!

Is celery salt really so delicious that it need not be improved upon?

I think not.

Due to the fact that I refuse to pick a 'winner' from the average Caesars available, I'll skip straight to the honourable mentions...

Molly Blooms: kudos to your $3 Sunday Caesars, delicious and a steal (perhaps made tastier by the Jazz?).

The Pour House: you surprised me with a spicy bean and an inventive rim, a round of applause!

Foster's: best garnish - though I think you get it from a jar?

Bentley's: your choice of glassware is the most satisfying/appropriate, good thick glass that somehow suits the beverage.

I encourage all of our local restaurants - step up your game a little, there are some great cocktails in this city, why has the Caesar been left as a regular old clamato/vodka concoction?

Where's the tequila?

The gin?

Why not Jack friggin' Daniels?

Infusions?

Freshly grated horseradish perhaps?

Try making your own rim?

Use a local/interesting hotsauce?

C'mon Stratford, there are millions of possibilities, we can do better!