please remain seated

Ok people.  This is a simple concept, when you are dining in a restaurant (perhaps with the exception of a diner or Cora's breakfast) you should not get up from your seat to pay your bill.  You may have noticed that your server has brought everthing else to your table throughout the course of your dining experience, there's a good chance they will also take payment while you are seated.

You may think that you are making it easier on your server by 'coming up to the machine' to pay.  This is not the case.  Here is why: your server is keeping an eye on your table and knows that he/she has just dropped off the bill and will come by in a few minutes to sort out payment.  When you vacate your table your server can lose track of you which will probably result in you asking another server to process your card/make change.  This may seem simple but servers have a list of things to do in their minds and for someone who is not taking care of your table, processing your bill is not on that list.

This is even more important when you are in a group of 6 or more, especially with separate cheques.  You may not notice in your oblivious bubble but crowding around the service stand (often where the debit/credit machine is located) makes it difficult for the servers who are using that area to get around you.  You were well situated around your table and now you are congesting the thoroughfares of the restaurant; blocking servers and guests alike.

This type of scenario also makes it more difficult for a server who is processing your multiple cheques to make sure that everyone has paid.  Again, everything is much simpler to do while everyone is seated so that someone doesn't skip on the bill.

The worst part of all of this is when you leave your table prior to getting your bill at all.  You then approach a random server and say "I'm ready to pay!" well that is so nice for you, I have no idea who you are, what you have eaten or who was serving you in the first place.  We then engage in a game of charades, "oh she was about this tall, about your height, hair down to about here, maybe blonde?"  Great, just a moment while I go find your server, ask what table you were at, try to describe you to your server in a similar charade fashion, borrow their swipe card to access your bill and then come back and print and process.  All of this takes more time than if you had just remained seated at your table until your own server had time to process your bill and though I'm sure you're not concerned about the other guests, I have to ignore my tables while I sort this out for you.

Now as always there are exceptions, if you have been waiting a really really really long time for your card to be processed then I can kind of understand.  But 6 minutes does not count as an eternity, have a little patience.

please erect your tent if you intend to camp

Two ladies sit together in a booth, dinner has been ordered, served and cleared; coffee and dessert are long reduced to crumbs and rings on the table.  The bill has sat untouched for almost an hour and the conversation rages on...

It's been so long since you've seen each other, I know, you just want to relax and catch up and enjoy each other's company, I get it.  But what you are not considering is that you are reducing my income significantly by taking up a table long after you have eaten.

You see, in most restaurants each server has a section which is comprised of a specific number of tables.  Those tables represent the potential income, not only for the establishment in which you find yourselves, but more directly for the server in that section.  When you forge your way past lingering into the realm of camping we begin to get upset.

As with any industry there is an assumed amount of time it takes to process an order or deal with a client, the same goes for the restaurant biz, there is an average amount of time that it normally takes to 'turn the table'. Some other occupations charge by the hour so that they do not have to concern themselves with potential campers, we don't have that luxury.  Restaurants do not rent you a table for a specific fee but they do expect that once you have finished dining and enjoying the offereings of said restaurant that you will pay your bill and be on your way so that the next table may be given the same opportunity.

If you are planning to stay for the duration of an afternoon or evening it would be courteous to inform your server and perhaps include a little extra when it comes to paying the bill so that he/she does not lose out on a significant amount of income from that table.

Stratford is filled with lovely independent coffee shops that provide an atmosphere to linger in, have a few lattes and catch up on the last 20 years of your life there perhaps?

the 12 bars of Christmas

Now that I am somewhat recovered from my 2 day hangover and shamed that I participated in such an irritating bar phenomenon I would like to offer you a Christmas carol, it being the week before Christmas and all...

Ahem.

At the first bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
A gin and tonic with lime

At the second bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
Two tequila
And a gin and tonic with lime

At the third bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
Three pints of bud
Two tequila
And a gin and tonic with lime

At the fourth bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
Four heineken
Three pints of bud
Two tequila
And a gin and tonic with lime

At the fifth bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
Five jager bombs
Four heineken
Three pints of bud
Two tequila
And a gin and tonic with lime

At the sixth bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
Six shots of rye
Five jager bombs
Four heineken
Three pints of bud
Two tequila
And a gin and tonic with lime

At the seventh bar of Christmas my server gave to me...
Seven white wine
Six shots
Five jager bombs
Four heineken
Three pints of bud
Two tequila
And a gin and tonic with lime

At the eight bar of Christmas my server cut me off...
No more to drink
I'm falling down
Maybe I should go
Five jager bombs!!!!
Just one more drink
I'm not driving home
I'll tip you lots!
One last gin and tonic with lime!

Thank you to those who sang along!  Now, I did not successfully complete my twelve bars, though to be fair there are no longer twelve bars within walking distance in the downtown core.

At my count there are 10: Dominion House, Foster's, Pour House, Parlour, DTS, Bentley's, Boar's Head, Molly Blooms, Backstage and Cadance. And that is the order I attempted to hop in.

I feel that my hangover of monstrous proportions was karma giving me a nudge, reminding me how much we bartenders hate to serve the droves of "12 bars" groups frolicking around the city at this time of year.  They flux in, demand quick service all at once for a group of 20 people or so, then flux out, often without much 'giving' that is so popular during this holiday season.

Please, if you participate in these events, try to drink responsibly and be kind to your service staff, patience as they say is a virtue...

Next year I will just stay in and sip Christmas cheer at home!

how to make a reservation: timing

I have to ask, do you consider your timing when you call for reservations?

Prior to my adventures working in restaurants, this would never have crossed my mind.  You think, "gee, I forgot to book a table for date night next weekend, I should call now".  And you do.

Simple enough, right?  And for the most part it is that simple.

However, if you've ever watched a restaurant manager dash for the phone mid-service, servers and runners darting out of the way, while he/she desperately tries to catch the call before it stops ringing you'd understand my concern.

You see, restaurants have service times, and they have down time in between.  Those in between times are the best time to call for reservations as you will encounter a much more focussed individual on the other end of the line.  I'm always curious when the phone rings off the hook between 5 and 6pm, but I guess knowing better is something that I take for granted (like so many other things relevant to only restaurant workers).

If you are interested in adjusting your reservation habits, read on:

Lunch in most restaurants (particularly in our theatre world) runs between 11-2, dinner 5-8.  These are times when the person recording your reservation request is somewhat distracted, which can result in bookings taken on the wrong days, at the wrong times and under impossibly ridiculous names.  During these peak hours you may find that the individual receiving your call seems like they just want to get it over with and get off the phone, they probably do.

You might think, why should I care?  The restaurant staff are there to serve me, why should I have to consider their timing?  Well, you don't have to, but remember this the next time you see your server on the phone while your dirty plates sit in front of you: they just might be dealing with a special needs reservation.

o Christmas tree

Welcome to the holiday season, a time of warmth, generosity, togetherness, and 'Christmas Parties'.  Every year between November 15th and December 24th I want to quit my job, crawl in a hole and weep until it's all over.

I've posted before about large groups but that does not even begin to express my feelings about restaurant filling, pre-booked, pre-ordered, set menu monster-sized parties.  I'm crying a little even now as I anticipate the coming month.

First off, if you ordered in advance for your dinner, DO NOT switch at the last minute.  Just because your friend's choice looks better than yours does not entitle you to change at the last moment.  This will result in someone else getting the wrong meal (imagine if half the people in your group did this?), which will cause the kitchen to back-up and have to re-cook a dozen meals and throw out the dozen they already made.  Not nice, eat what you ordered for the love of Santa!

Second, drink in moderation.  Yes, you're spending time with a bunch of people you don't like at the best of times (family/coworkers) so you may want a little social lubricant.  But be careful, too many candy cane martinis could result in serious tongue-wagging embarrassment.

Third: as mentioned in the other post, pay attention to your server.  Make a mental note of who they are (note: the young thin blonde and the older brunette are not the same person) and pose your questions and requests to that server.  Be patient, there are a lot of you who all want things at the same time; The night is young there is plenty of time to get drunk.

Inevitably, most Christmas parties get a little rowdy and by the end of the evening the ever present guest list breaks down like this:  There is, without fail, at least one male in the group who feels it is his calling in life to get impossibly drunk and inflict himself on the female staff.  There is often a puker - who of course never reaches the bathroom in time and leaves their festive present "discreetly" in a napkin or under one of the tables.  Don't forget the unhappy employee/unrequited lover who ends the night loudly complaining about their boss/lover to anyone who will listen - inevitably ending in tears and drama and refusal to get in the cab to go home.  Of course the lingerers are a common occurrance as well.  These are the people who hang on to the bitter end after everyone has left, they keep the staff, who try to reset around them without much success, hours later than necessary.  Last but not least, the boss/coordinator/head of the family who is in charge of paying the bill has always overspent on the event itself and cheaps out on the tip.

This year at your Christmas party, get into the spirit of giving; give the gift of good behaviour to your restaurant staff this holiday season!

smoking gun...

May I begin with a question?

Does it bother you when a server approaches your table with the smell of cigarettes lingering?

A few questions perhaps...

What connotation do you relate to a restaurant whose kitchen/wait staff are sitting outside, in uniform, smoking?

In the restaurant industry breaks of any kind are few and far between, so I understand the want to slip outside for a quick butt, but where do you draw the line?

Is it okay to pop out for a puff while waiting for your table's entrees?  Do you then deliver their food while the smoke lingers?  Should you greet a table after smoking?  Does the level of cuisine or time of day have an effect on the guests' perception?

I recently experienced a situation where there was a rather long delay in the middle of dinner; when the server returned he smelled so obviously of cigarettes, I understood why we had been forgotten.  His tip declined rapidly.

There have been times in my life when I have been a smoker and times that I have not.  Let me tell you something: smokers stink.  This is especially true when the persons doing the smelling are not smokers themselves.  It is fairly well known that smoking mutes your sense of smell and taste, therefore you do not notice your own stench, but the people you are serving can smell you 'loud and clear'.

So many topics that I bring up are directly related to timing and discretion, as is this one.  Neglecting your section to take a smoke break is unacceptable; serving food in a fine dining atmosphere while reeking of stale cigarettes is disgusting and unfair to the people spending the money on a high end experience.  But alternatively, if your tables are well cared for by a co-worker in your absence, you cover your uniform so the stench doesn't linger and wash your hands afterward/use mouth wash or gum, go ahead, smoke your lungs out!

who doesn't love boobies?

Everyone loves boobies, it's true, you can't deny it.  But here's a question for you, do breasts ever make you uncomfortable?  

Sure sure, the response from most will either be, "Nah, I have a pair of my own", "Actually I find the bosoms of a woman to be a natural and beautiful part of our world" or "BRING ON THE TITTY SHOW!!!".  But I'm sure there are a number of people in the world who are somewhat off-put at the sight of naked flesh of any kind - think Amish and ankles.

Why in the world would anyone want to tackle this topic? I guess I just don't have enough controversy in my life at the moment, surely this will divide many of my readers into two camps.  1. We support breastfeeding mothers, it's natural, they should be welcome everywhere!  2. We don't want to talk about it, we will pretend to agree with whoever is the most vocal.

Now, as with many issues that I have tackled here in the past, location and discretion are of utmost importance.  The etiquette in a fine dining establishment is different than a fast food joint - and varies in between.  But you will argue, IT'S NATURAL, a mother should be allowed to do this anywhere.  Not true, pooping is also natural, making sweet love to your significant other - NATURAL.  There are many wonderful natural things that exist in our world that I do not want happening at the table next to me in a restaurant.  

I personally feel that breast feeding is an intimate moment shared between mother and child that need not be broadcast to everyone in the vicinity.

However, with all that being said, if I may quote someone who prefers to remain anonymous - but who contributed to the dialogue regarding breastfeeding in restaurants - "timing is everything'".  Perhaps the moment while your server is taking your order and you are describing to them that you'll have the caesar salad but with no crouton, light on the dressing - here's my boob coming out and here I go hoisting baby up to suckle, got a good look at my nipple didn't ya? - oh and extra bacon; this, maybe, is not the time.

Discretion is the other thing.  I have to admit I do have a soft spot personally for breastfeeding women.  There's a warmth and tenderness to the vision of a baby held close to its mother's breast (so long as the child is not toddler sized or beyond! Another topic for another post).  But, perhaps it could take place under a blanket, or one of the cute hats in the picture at the top of the page?

I know the owner!

This is one of my favourite statements that immediately gets my ire up.

This comment always arises when you tell someone that they cannot have/do something.  A perfect example is a fully booked restaurant where someone arrives without a reservation and is told they cannot have a table.  "But I know the owner!  Surely you have room for US!".


No.

Everyone thinks they know the owner, everyone wants to feel special, but the reality is, if the owner of the restaurant is any good at all, the patrons should know them.  This does not mean that you are entitled to any kind of special treatment.

You are not going to get a discount, you will not get a better table, better service or better food.  In fact, as soon as the words leave your mouth you automatically get placed into the irritating, pretentious category of customers and the quality in your service will decline sharply.  After all, your server is not saying 'No' just for fun.  There is a reason, that reason trumps you knowing the owner.

If you truly know the owner, they should know you are coming.  They will have already informed the staff that you deserve extra perks while dining, you don't have to tell us.

Remember, you may know the owner, but so do we.

my name is not martini

If you've ever served tables in your life you have probably experienced this strange phenomenon.  Guests who feel that their wait staff are more servants than service professionals, not even worthy of a hello!

I like to lead off my service with a greeting.

"Hello, how is everyone today?"
"Hi there!"
"Hello, my name is Chew, how are you enjoying your day so far?"
"Good evening, nice to see you again!"

Most often the response is a pleasant conversational greeting, often followed by brief small talk then leading into a request/offer for a beverage.

However, it seems that some people leave their common courtesy at the door and ignore my pleasantries.  They skip the hello altogether and go straight for a demand of service.

Me: with a smile "Hello!"
Guest: sternly "Get me a martini, gin, rocks, olives."
Me: standing agape "I'm doing quite well actually thanks for asking!"

The tone is what makes the difference really, and it is hard to express it properly through text.  I could forgive the desperation of someone in need of a stiff drink - perhaps they just saw Grapes of Wrath - but being outright rude for the sake of it is unacceptable.

We, your servers, are not robots and how you treat us makes a difference to the overall enjoyment of your meal.  Try a smile, a quick hello, and if you need information/cocktails that urgently, at least try to be considerate while inquiring.

Please.

And Thank you!

diet soda

I had an experience a number of years ago that has stuck with me.  I see it often - though to a lesser degree - day to day as I serve people.

A young man sat amidst a group of his peers, he was displaying a medic alert bracelet and sporting a high tech insulin pump - he was a portly lad, certainly over his preferred weight.  He politely ordered a diet coke and I promptly served it to him.  A few moments later while taking the table's order, he asked again, could he have another diet coke.  But of course.  I served it at my next available moment.  The next time I visited the table to see if anyone needed another beverage, he asked again.  Then about 10 minutes later, again.  This young man consumed 12, count them, twelve pints of diet coke over the course of an hour and a half meal.

At this point in my life I had not done research on this particular topic so I couldn't help but think that after so many 'diet' pops he probably was not reaping the benefits of reduced sugar.  I was both right and wrong.

I understand that some of us struggle with weight; obesity, after all, has become one of the leading preventable killers in North America.  I can appreciate the plight of someone trying to cut back on sugar consumption to better avail themselves to lose weight, for personal or health reasons - hence drinking diet soda.  But after a great deal of time making assumptions about diet cola I finally decided it's time I do a little research.

This is what I have discovered:

Now, I was under the impression that diet pop simply had less sugar than regular pop, this is not the case at all.  There are 0 calories in diet pop which is caused by the removal of all natural sugars which are replaced (in most cases) with aspartame.  At first glance one would think that this means it is a safe beverage for diabetics and for those who are trying to trim a few (or many) pounds.  This is not the case, in fact the more I read the more dangerous it seems - though not for the reasons I had originally thought.

The problem comes from the substitute sweetener.  Though it does indeed have far fewer calories than glucose it has an entire set of dangers unique unto itself.  Consuming diet pop causes something that is called “cephalic phase response,” which is basically your brain jumping the gun and telling your body that it needs to produce some insulin and right quick because there are calories on the way!  The sugar never shows up, no calories, no additional energy and the insulin is left waiting, hanging around hoping to be picked up by the dirty old men at Cadance.   This obviously causes major problems for someone with diabetes but also for someone trying to lose weight, it actually makes you want more food and more sugar and then slows down your ability to process fat.  (This info is easily found on the web, but here's an article from Men's Health about the subject.)

Anyways, before I try to get too technical, I just hope that parents reconsider the volume of diet pop their children consume because fat kids are more and more prevalent in restaurants in this city (and others) and poor unsuspecting dieters are being fattened on the diet coke dollar.

Save yourself the bloating, drink water!

Thank you for laughing at the picture, it was too funny to pass up...

dining etiquette + children part 4: dirty diapers

I must apologize in advance for the severity of this post, I am outraged by a scene I witnessed this past week!

If I may help you envision what went on:

Here we are in restaurant X sitting down to a nice evening out (it could be wing night or a casual dinner, heck imagine yourself at McDonald's or even Rundles if you want).  You place your order and food arrives at the table.  At the next table a baby begins to cry quietly.  The mother (I presume) lifts the child, checks the back end and pronounces "ooh that's a stinky one!".  You wait with baited breath, assuming the child will be whisked away to a bathroom facility to be changed, but wait... there's a cloth going down on the table, drinks pushed to the side to allow for the make-shift change station to be laid out.  Baby is put on its back, pants removed, and that velcro/tape combo-sound grates down your back like nails on a chalk board.  That's right!  They're doing it!  Right there in the middle of the dining room, RIGHT ON THE TABLE.  You look down at your own table and wonder...  Brown stained baby wipes are stacked atop the soiled diaper - a scent wafts on the air...

You awake from the horrible nightmare right?  Wrong!

I was frozen in shock as I witnessed this scene unsure whether to ask the couple to leave the restaurant or just go out back and off myself from sheer embarrassment!

There is absolutely, without exception, no possible excuse or explanation for this event taking place in a dining establishment.  I don't care if it's a diner or a pub or a fancy restaurant.  It doesn't matter if it's just a peed in diaper, just a quick change, or you feel outraged because there is no change table in the washrooms.  Urine and feces do not belong in a room where food is being served.  Period.

please, feel free to adapt the menu to your liking

When someone goes out to dine at a restaurant I like to think they choose that particular venue because they like the concept/menu/atmosphere.  To willingly pick a restaurant where these things don't appeal to you is nonsensical.

Why then are there so many guests intent on re-writing the menu to suit their needs?  Bear with me, I'm not talking about allergies here, I understand the difficulty of living with dietary restrictions.  I'm talking about the 'choose your own adventure' guests who think the menu is a free-for-all that can be switched around until it sounds good to them.

"Um, I'll have the pork loin, but with the sauce from the salmon plate - on the side of course - and can you add the goat's cheese from that other dish and I really like the sounds of the vegetables that come with the beef and can I switch the mashed potatoes for a side of gnocchi with lentils too!"

God forbid they don't like their own creation and try to get dinner for free!  Trust me, if you want to be your own chef, you are going to have to pay for it!

There are a number of reasons why menus are decided upon before service, not the least of which is that the Chef decided that he/she just prefers the food presented in the manner described.  In most cases the kitchen staff will even see the plating and learn the cooking style of each dish so they are prepared to do it in a timely manner for all you lovely guests out there trying to get to the show.

Most kitchens are divided into sections.  Certain cooks do certain jobs and have their mise-en-place all set up and ready nearby.  When you redesign a dish it may require an item from another station, or something that is created in equal parts to another element of its original dish.

There is also food cost to think about.  You may want the chanterelle mushrooms from the risotto dish - why can't you add them to your steak?  Because the steak costs more than the rice and the mushrooms aren't cheap.  Be prepared to pay if you want to alter a dish, even if you feel you are making it a cheaper plate, that is not for you to decide, don't bother trying to get a discount by removing an expensive item, it makes you look cheap, and quite frankly, rather dumb.

If you really like something from another dish it's not the end of the world to ask for it.  But don't be haughty and arrogant thinking that you can have whatever you want and NEVER say "they did it for me last time!".  That was last time, and it feels like you're trying to pressure us into doing it again.  Sometimes restaurants do things during a slow period that they cannot execute as well when it's busy.  Ask politely and we'll do our best to accommodate you.

And don't forget to say 'thank-you', sincerely, after all, we did something extra just for you!

Thanks to Carly for inspiration!

everybody wave to the Sysco truck...

We are incredibly blessed here in Perth County, surrounded by a sumptuous bounty of farmland, protein, produce, cheeses - a 'veritable pantheon' of local producers offering superior products to the array of Stratford restaurants.  Yet, I find myself, weekly (if not more often) watching the Sysco truck parade brazenly around the city delivering its wares to sub-par kitchens and restaurants of every ilk.

For those of you who are not familiar with what I am talking about, Sysco is a massive over-produced food company that will provide you with less-than-quality ingredients at 'bargain basement' prices.

Note: Flannagan's is a similar company, much like shopping at Target instead of Walmart.  But Sysco claims the 'Walmart of food products' place in my heart.

Now, some restaurants use Sysco products for things like: canned goods, bar stock (cherries, straws, mini-swords, etc.) and that's okay, even necessary.  Not every joint on the block can afford the caraffa olives from Pazzo bakery.  But other restaurants are using these foreign products to make up the bulk of their menus, from the very expensive lamb at the Church Restaurant to the eggs on your breakfast plate at Features, some restaurants think it is okay to offer cheaper, low quality products at prices that would be understandable for a hand raised local product.

To extend the olive branch: I'm not suggesting that every restaurant can nor should source everything locally - I understand it gets expensive, I want to eat things like lobster and oysters as much as the next guy, and some restaurant price-points don't allow for every product they serve to be of superior quality.  Let's be honest, we all eat hotdogs right?

Basically I'm just suggesting that the next time you're out dining in a fine establishment (or what you consider to be one) ask your server a few questions.  Where do they get their beef?  Is the fish sustainable?  Are they using local produce?

We the consumers should encourage our dining venues to use products with integrity wherever possible.  Then maybe we can wave good-bye to the Sysco truck altogether!


Footnote:

I feel some of the wording in this post came across harsher than intended.  When I write, it is with a certain inflection in my head, often meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

I understand that there are lots of reasons to use large suppliers and have worked for establishments that do so conscientiously - and I applaud them for this.

I have also worked for establishments that don't have to use large suppliers (they have the liberty of a higher price-point/smaller space)  Some of these establishments still use Sysco products but charge prices that reflect a high quality local/specialized product.

It's great to see the comments below because it means that this post has people thinking - and responding intelligently - which is kind of what this blog is meant to do.

Thanks again for reading!

whatever happened to uniforms anyway?

A number of years ago, it's hard to say exactly when, maybe 5 - let's be honest, it's more like 10 years ago - restaurants decided that the whole white shirt, tie, black pants, white bistro apron thing was over.  The entire industry recoiled from those 'stuffy' tie wearing waiters of yesteryear and embrace a new exciting 'all black' vibe that they felt was more chic, cool and relaxed.  White button ups gave way to black button ups, even allowing some female staff to wear a 3/4 sleeve - how daring!

It worked, people felt they were dining in trendier places when they saw servers in stealthy black.  Ninja waiters everywhere!  Service staff themselves liked the new rules, less bleaching of dirty cuffs (black hides so many imperfections), less embarrassing red wine stains that are impossible to disguise.

Fast forward: here we are, it's 2011 and nearly every restaurant in Stratford is populated by black clad wait staff, but like the goth memories of your high-school years, they're faded.

Crisp black dress pants have given way to ever shorter skirts, skinny jeans, and yoga pants!  Shirts range from black, to grey and every faded shade in between.  White tank-tops and technicolour bras peek out from under black t-shirts and open back tank-tops giving young service staff that 'well-put-together' look (please, generously slather sarcasm on that last statement).  Shirts are buttoned lower (on both men and women) exposing cleavage and chest hair (though thankfully not in that order).

I for one would like to see some professionalism from the service staff in this supposed 'culinary destination'.  Tuck in a little.  Hem your pants maybe?  Use Woolite Zero if you have to, keep those blacks looking as sharp as the day you bought them!

Basically, try to avoid going to work looking like it's laundry day and you didn't have anything else to wear!  I for one would like to be taken seriously in this business, it's hard to command any kind of respect when you look like you don't even own an iron, let alone know how to use one.

all together now...

Some comments on the previous post have once again inspired me to respond.  First, if I may direct you to my first post regarding large groups.  I think it will give you a little insight into where I am coming from.

This may be a bit of a rant/ramble due to the fact that this is a multifaceted issue with many different points of view and necessary things to be mentioned.

First, large groups (parties of 10 or more) are simply more difficult to execute in independent restaurants than the same number of people seated at smaller tables.  It may seem easier to do everything all at once but that is not the case - a large party basically grinds the kitchen to a halt while that table is being plated (meaning the rest of the tables in the restaurant suffer).  

Try it for yourself at home: first, plate two different dinners for yourself and a friend, repeat 5 times over every few minutes.  Then plate 10 dinners at the same time, 3 salmon, 2 pasta, 1 steak medium, 1 steak rare and 3 chicken fingers w/ fries.  Did you find that you ran out of room?  Was it hard to keep everything hot while you waited for the fries to finish?  Can you feel the eyes boring into the back of your neck as the server impatiently waits while the rare steak turns to medium-well on the plate? Did you have time to start anything else while plating the 10 dishes?

If you successfully executed both types of service, I applaud you!  Perhaps you should take up cooking professionally!

The flow of a restaurant is designed to handle smaller tables (up to 6 or 8 max) effectively.  Larger chain restaurants can execute things faster because their size matches that of your group.  10 cooks can more effectively cook for large groups than say 4 chefs/apprentices.  With 10 staff, you can divide your kitchen to focus some on the party and others on regular service, with 4 this is an impossibility.

Now regarding service;  I have both served and dined with large groups and I have to say that over 50% of the time it is the fault of the group, not the server, that the service seems lacking.  It is much harder to get the attention of 10 people at the same time.  You may feel you're being neglected when really your server was at the table a few moments ago trying to politely get your attention but you were engaged in conversation and now that you realize you need something and your server has gone to get drinks for your friends you feel your server is 'too slow' or 'not attentive' etc.

And to answer a question from my reader, the justification for the auto-grat is based on the fact that, like it or not, restaurant service is a tipping environment (if things change, I'll let you know) and too often large groups don't tip.  This results in servers having to pay out of pocket to serve a large group (see my post on tip-outs) which results in unhappy staff, which results in the refusal to serve large parties, or to tip out on them, which causes problems for the restaurant, hence an auto-grat!

As for what is wrong with separate cheques, well (again my post on separate cheques) it basically boils down to timeline.  I know that isn't what you wanted to hear but it's true!  And unfortunately as technology advances, it doesn't get faster it gets slower!

It used to go something like this:

swipe card, enter amount, press enter, print, tear, present to guest

Now it goes something like this:

enter server number, enter amount, insert chip card, verify acceptance, pass terminal to guest, guest muddles through asking the server questions (which button now? how do I go back? I've put in the wrong pin, I don't remember my pin), pass terminal to server, connect to wireless, process, print, tear, present to guest

You can see how it is somewhat more lengthy now than before!  The other problem with separate cheques for large groups is something you may remember from childhood - a game called musical chairs. We your service staff don't know you, we are not familiar with your faces so we number you by seat, if you move from that seat you no longer have an identity which means it's hard for us to [a.] serve you the right plate of food and [b.] charge you appropriately for what you've had.

Any other issues with separate cheques are mostly related to un-trained/disorganized service staff, but I have literally witnessed emotional breakdowns happen from servers trying to separate a cheque for a seat switching large groups.  The poor girl couldn't work the rest of her shift - and imagine someone else trying to separate the bills!  Not to mention if you don't work in a restaurant that has a POS system, every cheque has to be written and calculated by hand.

Whew, that was a lot to take in all at once!  As always, thank you all so much for reading and remember, intimate table or giant group at the end of the day I love to serve you and hope we can accommodate your needs, whatever they may be!

autograt!

First, allow me to define the term: Autograt (automatic gratuity): an involuntary service charge that is added to your bill at the discretion of therestaurant.  Often applied to large groups (or in some cases parties of 6 or more?!?)

I personally have mixed feelings regarding this concept.  As a server who has been badly burned by guests in large groups who think either [a.] they can get away without tipping and no one else will notice because everyone else is tipping OR [b.] their friends are taking care of the tip!  I appreciate the option to add a service charge to large parties so that I don't end up paying to serve the table.

But, on the other hand, when dining out myself I feel that I am a fair tipper.  Though I don't always over-tip just because I'm in the business, when I receive great service I tip accordingly.  The same goes for when I get poor service!

Though I'm sure every server in the world thinks they are perfect, but sometimes large groups get poor service.  In the event of this possibility I think it is unfair to tack on a 15% (or more) gratuity to a bill.  However, there are some customer types that are a higher risk than others and therefore I'm not opposed to autograt-ing a party of, say, 10 or more? (especially if they require separate cheques!)

Having a policy regarding auto gratuities means that you feel your staff are entitled to the tip.  I wholeheartedly believe that tips are earned not  deserved (though I too feel indignant when shorted).

As a floor manager in a restaurant you should evaluate each service individually, know the strengths and weaknesses of your servers and autograt appropriately - or not at all in some cases.

All things considered, I've gained more than lost by letting my guests decide for themselves what kind of tip they feel is appropriate.  It's kind of like gambling, except you're betting on yourself and if that's not a good bet, perhaps you should re-evaluate your own service abilities!

dining etiquette + children part 3: throwing spaghetti

Parents, I challenge you to clean up after your children while in a restaurant!  I know it is nice to be able to walk away from a floor littered with crayons and pieces of paper, bits of food and spilled pop, but the server should not have to be responsible for such a mess.

You certainly wouldn't let 'little Johnny' throw his spaghetti at home, or would you?  The atrocious mess that is commonly left behind after a table with children leaves is unacceptable.  I've actually had children throw food/crayons at me and the parents just laugh!

Thank you but I am not a janitor, nor a babysitter (I was once, but not anymore) and I don't want to have to crawl under your table after you leave to scrape crushed crackers out of the carpet.

I have served a few families that are tidy and pleasant, the children have great manners and are cleaned up after when they make a mess, but unfortunately there are a great many rotten apples spoiling the pot.  So please, to those who don't usually clean up after your children - not only are you being uncouth but you are setting an example for your children that will be perpetuated with their children!

At least leave a big tip so the time we take to clean up the mess isn't totally wasted...

to clear or not to clear

An interesting dilemma brought up by another of my lovely readers!

Now, in the ideal situation, the proper etiquette is for the server to wait until everyone at the table finishes eating before clearing plates; therefore not rushing the last person through their last few bites.

However, there can be a number of problems when it comes to this etiquette point: 1. a lot of guests are boorish and don't understand this concept therefore they shove their plates off to the side of the table or throw their cloth napkins on top of the plate (another topic for another day!) and 2. the majority of service staff in our fair city lack any formal service training and are set free to run willy-nilly with little or no direction from management/owners.

Even as a server of some formidable talent (pardon the ego) I sometimes struggle with the question of whether to clear or not.  In the appropriate setting (finer dining) I always impose this etiquette on tables who don't understand, but you can face wrath from people who want "this dirty plate out of my sight!".  In more casual restaurants eg. diners and pubs as a guest you must realize that it is more common to have the plates cleared as they are finished and this is acceptable at this level of dining.

Servers who lack training/direction seem to automatically lean toward appeasing the snarly guests (who are often the ones who don't understand the proper etiquette) rather than the polite ones (who would prefer to wait for the other guests before having their plates cleared).  This becomes a cyclical problem as these servers become floor managers and teach those new servers the same bad habits they have come to know as the right way to do things.

So I guess the answer is both:
- to the guest: please stop stacking your plates off to the side while your friends are still eating, but don't get upset when your chicken wing plate is cleared ahead of the others
- to the server: please learn the appropriate style for the appropriate venue (read your tables, this is what makes you good at your job)

As in all things, balance is key!

dining etiquette + adults part 3: perfume

An aroma wafts on the air, caressing my senses; spices, grilling beef, a rich tomato sauce simmering towards perfection - all of these mingle together to create that wonderful scent that is part of the dining experience.  I order a bottle of something delicious but as I lean in to smell the wine my nose is virtually assaulted by something terrible...

Why is it that people feel it is necessary to douse themselves in perfume before heading out for a night on the town?

I'm sure you don't smell that bad without it (but if you do perhaps a visit to your doctor is in order?).  Again, unfortunately, women make up the majority of over-the-top smelling individuals, though I have encountered quite a few men who think perhaps they will entice themselves a mate by smelling like an entire Sears cologne counter!

Thank you Ralph Lauren, Vera Wang and Paris Hilton for convincing everyone that your manufactured scents will make us more appealing to our dinner companions!

Let us not forget Grandma; few people smell quite as pungent as a woman over 75!  The strange thing is, they often smell like soap.  It is truly a mystery of science how any one individual can heighten the smell of Dove or Lever 2000 to such levels that everyone's noses in a six block radius can detect nothing else!

I beg you, before slathering on the 'eau'de STANK, please consider those of us who actually want to smell what we are eating!  If you want to smell like a french brothel, perhaps that is where you belong.

why is my plate still here?

There is an important element of service that seems to be overlooked in this town at a number of restaurants.  From a casual pub or diner to some of the nicer restaurants in the city, the problem seems universal for some reason.

The 'pre-bus' (or 'table maintenance') seems to be over and above the talents of the average server. 

Allow me to define the term:

'Bussing' a table usually happens after the guests leave it.  All of the items are removed so that the table can be wiped and re-set for the next people to use.  'Pre-bussing' happens while the guests remain.  It involves removing unneeded and erroneous objects from the table as they become unnecessary (ie. clearing the empty glass when you bring a fresh pint).  This is not a difficult thing for a server to do, in fact it helps you keep track of what stage a table is at in their dining experience and keeps things neat and tidy so that the guest doesn't have to "enjoy" their meal surrounded by dirty, used dishes/glasses etc.  If the restaurant is nice enough this can even mean removing the salt & pepper shakers/grinders as the table heads toward dessert.

There is no reason that I should receive a cheque with a dirty plate still in front of me, particularly when my server is not incredibly busy.  It's laziness/carelessness on the part of the wait staff.  I challenge any server who reads this blog to evaluate yourself on how well you do this.  It's a small thing that makes a big difference in the quality of service you give!  To those who do this well, bravo!  To those who don't, stop making the rest of us look bad!