Monday, June 20, 2011

customer profile: the drama queen

I hate to start off any post by bashing women but c'mon! Really?

Women make up a large majority of difficult customers; drama queens in particular are almost all female!

The drama queen is someone who is un-please-able from the get go.  You're not fast enough/you're hovering.  The wine is too cold/not cold enough.  The pasta is too spicy/too bland.  And the soup is always cold.

These women like to draw attention to themselves, they speak to you, the server, with an air of condescension - not really looking you in the eye and always speaking over you and ignoring you, unless something goes wrong.  Whether real or imagined, when disaster strikes the drama queen will let you know exactly what YOU have done wrong!

You can spot a drama queen from a mile away too, those dining with her seem exasperated, they apologize quietly to their server, rolling their eyes at her incessant requests.  "Can we have that table?  I don't want that table! Oh no, there's a draft.  This seat is too hard.  Can you turn the air conditioning up?  Down?  I don't want to look at the wall!  Dressing on the side. No butter, no oil, no salt, steamed vegetables!  There is nothing on this menu I can eat!  I need to speak to the manager!"

There's a bug on your table madame?  Perhaps that is due to the fact that YOU ARE ON A PATIO!?!?


  1. wow, rough day?

  2. HA!!! BRAVO!!!
    You should do a segment on the ins and outs of patio dining.
    "No we don't have a table inside, you booked a patio table two hours ago BECAUSE we were full inside"
    "Yes, I see the yellow jacket in your drink... No, I'm positive it wasn't there when I poured it... No, I won't pour you a new one, you're sitting outside... would you like a spoon"
    Tis the season!