Thursday, June 30, 2011

who's the Chew?

Some of my readers have a mild (or severe) obsession with who the Chew could possibly be; some people may even have a decided persona who they believe is the one and only Chew.  So here it is, a vague, yet telling, expose on the million dollar question "Who's the Chew?"

First a few terms that may be of interest:

1. Peter Parker - this is my real life self, who works hard and maintains a fairly regular existence; trying to spend time with family and friends without the pressures of being The Chew influencing my everyday life.

2. Spiderman - my alter ego self, The Chew, who fights valiantly for better service, better food and better customer behaviour in local restaurants and beyond!  My identity must remain hidden due to the adverse effects that could be wrought upon my 'Mary Jane' counterpart.

3. Integrity - something that would be hard to maintain if exposed while working in one of our local restaurants without gaining bias or getting fired.

Fun Facts:
   - I have milked a cow with my bare hands
   - I have never actually been to the Sunday market, though hopefully that will change
   - I think the bread from the Local Market Co-op is one of the most delicious I've ever had
   - I don't drink milk by itself
   - I've known how to drive a stick-shift since I was 16
   - I love heirloom tomatoes
   - I have appeared in Snap Perth

Now, first of all, it should be apparent that I work in the restaurant business currently, and I would like to suggest to those who are seeking my identity with a vigor that far exceeds what they put into their daily jobs - what do you expect me to say?  Perhaps you've even asked one of the contributors, but c'mon really?  Should they respond in the affirmative, "how right you are sir/madam I am the Chew, you've guessed it!  Now the blog can go public instead of being anonymous risking my lively-hood if I happen to write a poor review of my employer!"

Probably not.

Spiderman is an entity and a necessary one, he is separate from Peter Parker because he has to be!  The Chew is not anyone, it is an idea, from the thoughts and actions of many, edited by one.  If I were to reveal myself, the objectivity of the writing would be destroyed and ultimately, I would have to stop blogging.  To be honest, I quite like my readers and I like the blog so I'd rather not face that reality.

A few of you have been brought into 'the know' and I trust that you will appreciate the confidence I've placed in you and refrain from exposing your new-found information to others!  The Chew will be revealed in time, be patient!

Thank you,
The Chew


  1. I am wondering who gets the pleasure of getting into the very exclusive "KNOW" group and what did they have to do to be worthy? :)

  2. livelihood is spelled wrong

  3. or rather livelihood is spelled incorrectly. Wrong isn't correct, but wrongly just sounds bad, so my apologies but livelihood is spelled incorrectly

  4. Funny, it just occurred to me that you could be male. I had it in my head that you were female... I have no idea why. I personally prefer if you stay elusive... that way the dirt is dirtier ;) and you can remain completely uncensored. The way good reporting should be!

    And maybe you actually meant "Lively" hood... the work that takes up most of your energy ;)

  5. I agree. As much as I LOVE speculating as to who the Chew may be, I totally understand why you need you anonymity. Both socially and professionally (present and future). Unlike Anon 7:05... I can actually hear your voice saying those words, Reade.

  6. I know who you are.

  7. I also agree that the bread from Your Local Market Co-op is one of the most delicious I have ever had ....

  8. Sorry Anon 7:05... I've just received two messages (one text, one facebook) reprimanding me for being incorrect. So, for the record, Reade is not the "Grammar Nazi"... who knew. (Both messages had impeccable spelling and grammar)

  9. which issue of SNAP Perth?!?

  10. Stay anonymous Chew. It's your right, our pleasure and to the betterment of all that read you...there are so few surprises left in our world...hold off...

  11. But who cares, really?

  12. im not sure maybe ill ask jesse