Friday, June 24, 2011

dining etiquette + adults part 3: perfume

An aroma wafts on the air, caressing my senses; spices, grilling beef, a rich tomato sauce simmering towards perfection - all of these mingle together to create that wonderful scent that is part of the dining experience.  I order a bottle of something delicious but as I lean in to smell the wine my nose is virtually assaulted by something terrible...

Why is it that people feel it is necessary to douse themselves in perfume before heading out for a night on the town?

I'm sure you don't smell that bad without it (but if you do perhaps a visit to your doctor is in order?).  Again, unfortunately, women make up the majority of over-the-top smelling individuals, though I have encountered quite a few men who think perhaps they will entice themselves a mate by smelling like an entire Sears cologne counter!

Thank you Ralph Lauren, Vera Wang and Paris Hilton for convincing everyone that your manufactured scents will make us more appealing to our dinner companions!

Let us not forget Grandma; few people smell quite as pungent as a woman over 75!  The strange thing is, they often smell like soap.  It is truly a mystery of science how any one individual can heighten the smell of Dove or Lever 2000 to such levels that everyone's noses in a six block radius can detect nothing else!

I beg you, before slathering on the 'eau'de STANK, please consider those of us who actually want to smell what we are eating!  If you want to smell like a french brothel, perhaps that is where you belong.

1 comment:

  1. I have to say, by far, the most offensive smell I've encountered in Stratford (especially), as a server AND a patron is...MOTHBALLS.
    People over 75 have got to be educated on ways to preserve clothing that does not involve offending every single person that gets caught in the downwind.