Friday, May 13, 2011
dining etiquette + adults part 2: sexy time
Food is sexy, so I understand when a great dinner might get you a little hot. But food/sex combos are perhaps better suited to sitting at home in front of one's refrigerator (you may recall the Kim Basinger/Mickey Rourke scene from 9 1/2 weeks). It is really quite inappropriate to embark on a sexual adventure while sitting at a table in the middle of a dining room.
I have been privy to a number of these encounters: from a good old semi-discreet hand-job behind the tablecloth on Valentine's Day to a continuous 2 hour make-out session complete with slurping sounds (the ice in their drinks melted to nothing and tables surrounding them requested to be re-located!).
As cognitive adults we have the ability to decide when and where we will display our sexual advances. Why some people think it is okay to do so in a restaurant is beyond me. Now, I'm not talking about an intimate evening between lovers, this is perfectly fine as long as it does not get out of hand. I'm talking about groping, slurping, fondling, tonguing, etc. A daring sojourn to the bathroom notwithstanding, let's just all do our best to keep restaurants somewhere around the PG rating.